Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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