I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize