Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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