Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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