Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
we're making bets on your personal life
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
My vagina is officially offended.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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