holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
