yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
