Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
