thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
