I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
vagina is talking i cant
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
