piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
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