he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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