I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Do vagina's smell?
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
