Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
