my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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