this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Randomize
