There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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