Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
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