Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
