My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
