She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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