Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
zippers are such a cool invention
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
