I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
