you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Randomize
