I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Randomize