But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
