Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
