how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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