i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I skipped work to stalk him.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
