If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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