): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Randomize