so that wasnt chicken after all
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
