just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
