At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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