Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
