You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
