thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
