my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
