i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Randomize
