She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
