I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Randomize
