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so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
