So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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