Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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