my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
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