If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
