does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
