i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
