Do you still have your period?
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
