Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
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