Have you finally orgasmed yet?
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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