Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
