it wasn't lemon gatorade
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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