Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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