I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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