I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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