Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
