Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
My ass is underappreciated
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
