I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
