The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
