I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
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