Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
