mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
