is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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