Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
