We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
